So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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