Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
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