I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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