But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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