I accidentally had phone sex last night
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
