I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
