and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
