i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
