paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
