maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
