my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize