She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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