you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
