so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
