How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
there was a trapeze. enough said
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
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