Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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