i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Little spoons don't ask big questions
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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