Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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