I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
