She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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