New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
