Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
