dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
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You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
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He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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