guys are not supposed to queef...right?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
