Old men and throwing up are my life now.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
