OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I am in a vortex of obligation.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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