And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
