I'm gonna have a badass scar
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize