i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
