I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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