the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
