how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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