she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
