Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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