i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
