worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
