When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
