In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
