Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
