what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
