you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
In America we eat man semen.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
