I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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