You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Randomize
