We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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