I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
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