Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
