Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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