Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
