just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
