Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
you inspire me to be a worse person
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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