Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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