You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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