Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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