check it out our google latitudes are spooning
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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