New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
