is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
