I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
