Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
