C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
