Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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